This has got to be one of the lowest points in my life. I have a really bad, sinking feeling about tomorrow, about everything. I have a feeling that I’m not going to make the cut. For some of my friends, I am truly happy that they are getting where they want to be. Even if I don’t make it, there are some people in my life that I would wholeheartedly support getting into medical school. I think their character, the way they have worked so hard for devoting their lives to the well-being of others is a great thing. I’ll always remain one of their biggest supporters I feel – no matter what happens. I almost sound like my advisor at Loyola… which maybe that’s a better job for me than doing this medicine thing for myself.
Still I also wish I had that kind of opportunity… I wish I could have walked the path differently.
I don’t really understand it. I knew what I was getting into when I chose to do this… but I guess I never really thought about what I would do if I couldn’t do it. And now that I’m faced with the question… I guess failing was never an option to me. In anything I do, anyone that I care about, I am devoted, loyal, and steadfast. Now I’m not so sure that is a good quality to have.
I’ve lost all confidence in what to do with my life. I need to find direction eventually but right now, I don’t have it in me. I don’t know how to manage failing so many times. I’ve let so many people down and myself then. Everything’s just stagnant in my life and I hate that.
Premedical student on a journey to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. In and between, I like to ponder the meaning of life. So this is a start-up experimental documentation of that journey. And on the side what I love in life: good food, photography, and music. 
